Over the past week there have been several mornings where I wake up and don’t want to get out of bed. It’s not the normal O to loll around in my comfy covers a few minutes more attitude, rather I feel sore and achy physically and down in the dumps in spirit. Alas, the aches and pains in my hands and feet, and sometimes in wrists and ankles, have continued and I oftentimes feel like 60 year old woman first thing in the morning.
All this to say that I finally meet with a rheumatologist on Tuesday. My sed rate is still elevated (at 29, down from 52) and my ANA is abnormal at 2.4 (normal is 1.0). The rheumatoid factor still shows negative, which is good but could also be misleading. The long and short of it is that I have an “undifferentiated connective tissue disorder” — it’s a fancy way of saying, We Don’t Know Exactly What’s Wrong with You! but you pretty much have arthritis. Arthritis is inflammation of the joints and I definitely have that. There was no bone/joint damage on my xrays, though, so apparently we’ve caught the arthritis pretty early. At this point we’re choosing to treat the symptoms… Alleve twice a day should do that. As to a specific diagnosis, the wait-and-see approach will have to suffice for now.
I am not posting this stuff on my blog lightly. This all REALLY SUCKS. I already have insulin dependent diabetes mellitus (IDDM). I definitely don’t welcome more physical dilemmas in my life — and I don’t enjoy the emotional weight that comes along with them. I am a worrier by nature, currently fighting hard to shake anxiety from my daily regimen, so another potentially heavy diagnosis doesn’t do me any good. I spent a good part of Tuesday being weepy, believing myself to be the unluckiest tool this side of the Mississippi, doomed to a life of medical paraphernalia. But guess what? Life is so much more than a disease (or two) and this is my life. There is a way to get out of bed in the morning without feeling so blue, and that is by turning to the word of God for comfort and guidance… My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9). Often weak in body, definitely weak in spirit — grace sure has miles to go in me! But as odd as it sounds, as backwards as this may seem, I’m looking forward to the ways trusting in God’s grace will change me.
One more thing that makes a girl feel good? Red roses from the love of her life. Not too shabby, eh?
7 Comments
lindsay Feb 26, 2004 2:40 PM
you should talk to my mom about this.
drugs have done wonders for her arthritis.
i’ll be praying.
sarah Feb 26, 2004 3:39 PM
aww, the roses are great!
thanks for telling us about your troubles, i’ll definitely be praying for you.
charity Feb 26, 2004 5:51 PM
diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis? is that it? come one. get three diseases and i’ll start feeling sorry for you. ;)
rt Feb 26, 2004 6:11 PM
hey, no one said anything about rheumatoid… the jury’s still out on this on. (i am personally hoping for something less intense than RA.) but i’ll work on that 3rd disease for you, ct, because i’m sure you know that if jeremy goes before me, it’s gonna be you wiping the drool off my chin when i’m 80! can’t you see us living together as crochety old ladies? ; )
dd, i have talked with your mom. in fact, i saw her doctor! and thanks for your sweet thoughts, girls… you’re awesome.
Melissa Mar 27, 2004 2:32 PM
Hello, I just happened to pick this up when I was doing a search for more info on UCTD. I was diagnosed with it about 3 years ago, and I have been learning to live with it. I’ve never come across someone else with it, so it might be nice to talk with each other.
A good rheumatologist can really help. My current one (my third) has my condition pretty much under control. I’m able to have a normal life now, with meds and some help from God. Things will improve for you, too.
God bless,
Melissa
Becky Dec 17, 2004 4:20 PM
I also have UCTD and have been living with it for roughly a year now. Your comments all strike a familiar chord with me in regards to your systems and in your outlook in life. Prayer has truly been a blessing with the onset of this disease as the first 6 months of diagnosis are the toughest. I will continue to pray for you continued improvement. Thanks for sharing your story and for your wonderful Christian testament.
Jeanna Lowe Mar 30, 2005 12:25 PM
Thank you for posting this, I was diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder last week, but they have not told me which one yet, but seeing your blog, makes me feel better about not having any energy, and the anxiety about what might happen in the future. I am also glad to see that the 1st rheumatologist may not have the answers, my primary physician thought several months ago that I might have bechets syndrome, but he was like, no that is not it. My primary physician is sending me to see the second rheumatologist, and we will see what happens then. Thanks.