Reading: Tour of Duty: John Kerry and the Vietnam War, Douglas Brinkley. This book just grabbed my eye at the library (I’m still on this war kick) and has subsequently given me interest in the Democratic bid for the presidency.

Laughing: While watching The Station Agent with Charity and Karen last night. Fantastic film. There were so many quotable moments that I wanted to remember — and can’t. I loved the relationships, especially the play of introvert vs. extrovert. Go see this movie.

Cringing: At auditions of American Idol wannabes… And at the judges responses to their terrible performances. Don’t let the cringing fool you. I love to watch.

Ignoring: The need to kick sweets out of my diet. I was doing sooo good about skipping desserts prior to my birthday at the start of December. Then it all went downhill… Three birthday cakes, Christmas cookies and snacks, and now I’m back in the wonderful world of sucrose. Need. To. Quit. Now.

Watching: “Friends” and “ER” quite faithfully. Reality shows are still my favorite, but unless I get Tivo power (that would be fantastic!) I won’t be watching them on a regular basis. It just gets pretty pathetic when you have to tell someone, “No. I can’t hang out on Tuesday because of (fill in the blank).” People are more important than television (repeat three times to self when craving American Idol, Survivor, other).

Feeling: Ready for spring! Ever since I got a Burpee seed catalog in the mail a few weeks ago I’ve been been itching to plant my garden. I also received a very very cool vase from my brother Adam and his girlfriend Kristin for Christmas which I am dying to fill with fresh flowers. Oh for warm weather and warm breezes, rocking on my front porch (when I get a new rocker that is), barbecuing dinner and taking evening walks…

Eating: Indian food from a jar. Open Harvest sells Pataki food products (I think that’s the correct name) that taste pretty good. Indian dishes made from fresh ingredients can’t be rivalled, but the stuff I ate last night was pretty yummy… and a heck of a lot cheaper than going to The Oven.

Drinking: Sleepytime tea. With a description like this (ripped from celestialseasonings.com), who wouldn’t? “Sleepytime Herb Tea, a comforting blend of chamomile and spearmint, creates a lullaby of tender flavor to soothe your senses. This 100% natural, gentle cup of hot tea lets you curl up under a quilt of flavor and quiet the tensions of your world. The part of your day shared with Sleepytime is like coming home to find a friend waiting for you by the fire. There’s no calm like the sigh from the spirit when you take this moment for rest and reflection … there’s no time like Sleepytime.”

Attempting: To find balance in my days. I’m learning that there are activities I have to do, activities I want to do, and activities I like to do but don’t have time for. Balancing all these “wants” and “shoulds” can be challenging. I suppose it’s all part of the Grand Experience we call Life.

Today is cold… Nebraska cold. We’re finally getting around to that degree of chilliness that has you racing from house to car, from car to work, so on. The kind of bitter winds that freeze the hairs in your nose and make your eyes tear violently. But up until this point we have enjoyed amazingly mild weather along with two beautiful snowfalls. So really I’ve got nothing to complain about (I say, as I pull on thick socks and forgo cute hats and coats for the not-so-charming, truly warm ones).

The cold factor outdoors makes indoors the perfect place to curl up and never leave (which is why many of my winter nights are delightly spent at home!). I love burning candles for coziness and boiling hot water to fill mugs with tea or cocoa. I love the warmth of our electric heater and the companionship of my husband and a good book. I love our fluffy down comforter and the clean smell of sheets from the dryer. Basically, I’m a 5’9” hobbit.

Photo explanation… Before Christmas I was asked to take digital pictures of my neighbor-friends. It was really fun to take shots of them throwing snowballs, peeking around trees, on a park bench, etc. The final shots of the afternoon were taken from their upper back porch. Deep in the snow, a remnant of warm evenings from summer past, was this wine bottle. I unearthed it, looked for a nice shot, then in the dying light took a picture of these laughing snow angels.

My dear, patient husband showed me how to upload photos to my blog tonight. And in doing so, he showed great understanding for my learning style, which requires the hands-on, direct application approach. If I’m not sitting in the driver’s seat (the office chair) and actually completing a process myself, I just might not learn it. So a big THANK YOU goes out to Jeremy Tredway tonight who had to pause his Blockbuster rental, not one, but two times to straighten me out.

This Random Slideshow was built in response to renewed correspondence with an old friend today. She asked to see pictures and this is the outcome… for now… One last word about my digital photos. I learned that my flash was broken at this moment, thus indoor pictures are now few and far between for good reason. Donations to the New Camera Fund are always welcome.

Last night I was bemoaning my lack of observational skills while watching Alias at the Cutlers’ house. Several times during the show I’d ask questions to clarify confusing plot issues or tangly dialogue. On a commercial break, while getting snacks from the kitchen, Jeremy was surprised that Julie knew exactly what glass he wanted to use (when you don’t have hands, it makes a difference what type of drinking vessel you use!). Truly, I could’ve had someone over to my house for years without “noticing” their preferred glass. My observational skills are lacking. Largest proof yet???

My beloved front porch rocking chair—yes, the very blue one in the background of the photo.

I noticed the lack of chair on Friday while checking my mailbox. Of course, I wanted to report such an extravagant loss (okay, maybe extravagant isn’t the proper word) to the police, but my husband wisely said not to. Since Friday I’ve been disgusted with this act of theft. This morning, out of random interest in the digital photos I’ve taken over the past year, I opened iPhoto to peruse my files. And behold, what did I find? Pictures of my front porch during a beautiful snowfall on December 11, and… no rocking chair.

So now I’m laughing at myself. Still a little bummed about the chair, but apparently it’s nothing new!

It’s one of those nights. A night where I thought I would fall asleep around 9pm, after laze-ing on the couch for a few minutes following supper. Instead… here I am. On the internet for hours on end (boy, are my fingers and neck muscles going to be killing me tomorrow morning!), reading blog entries of some person who is admired by another person who’s a distant blogging cousin of a person I used to go to school with. Isn’t life grand? With Kleenex stuffed in both nostrils (merely a preventative measure I assure you), Neosporin thickly spread over my poor, damaged, shiny-red nose, and frequent applications of Vaseline to my cracked lips, I am still awake. 11:15pm. Wondering why in the world I’ve spent so much time in one position on the ugliest, most comfortable chair in my house, on the laptop computer my chiropractor brands as evil, watching really crappy television programming.

Enough is enough. Goodnight, world. I am off to luxurious, dreamless sleep only Nyquil can give.

2 – Christmas celebrations. One with the Tredways on Christmas Eve and the other with the Lawtons on Christmas Day. God has sure blessed us with great families, people that love us quite faithfully. It’s a small portrait of God’s grace, a peek into how beautiful it is to be adopted by Him, when you become a part of the “in-law” family. Here are these normal folks, completely unrelated to you biologically, and they treat you like their own under the Christmas tree, at the dinner table, everywhere. Really, the truth of it all hits me in a big way at Christmastime.

3 – New Year’s Eve invitations. Only one was honored — and that wasn’t exactly an invitation… it was more of a standing invite. Usually we spend New Year’s Eve with our good friends Rob & Carrie Nickeson. They were the first in our circles to have children, so it made sense to have the party at their house. This year is a special one as Rob is stationed with the National Guard in Mosul, Iraq. He’s been called to active duty since February 16 and has thus missed the twins’ 2nd birthday, Carrie’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to raise toddlers on your own (and right now they’re potty-training), run your own salon (C&A Images), and be desperately missing your husband on a day-to-day basis. But Carrie is a stronger woman than most, and more practical than anyone else I know, so she’s making it through this challenge. Nonetheless, it was good to spend New Year’s Eve with Andrew and Nathan (until bedtime, of course), Carrie, “Freaky Friday”, cheese popcorn (which I’ve since learned my husband has great passion for), Ferrero Rocher, Russell Stover, and Dick Clark and his very odd singing/dancing/ball-dropping television program.

4 – Musicians at the Crescent Moon coffee shop last night. Our very own (sidenote: I’m not sure how you’re mine, Karen, but I’m gonna claim you anyway) Karen Locklear was performing when we walked into the store. I immediately spied Sommer Waite and asked, “Who’s singing?” without one clue that the voice belonged to Karen. Though sad to have missed the first few songs, I was grateful for the last empty chair on the fringe of the crowd and for Karen’s terrific abilities. Beautifully done, Karen, and beautifully done, Sommer. It was a perfect snowy night and spending it listening to these very talented songwriters was wonderful.

1 – Christmas tree currently in my possession. Last night the number was 2. You see, Charity and housemates thought it’d be oh-so-funny to prank us by depositing their (falling apart, needly, dry, enormous) tree somewhere in our house. (Now, why again did I give Charity a housekey??) So they did. And I’m not certain my little guest bathroom will ever be the same. The whole affair was quite hysterical actually. And, Grand Girls, thanks again for not putting your Christmas tree in my bedroom — for that I am very grateful.

52 – My current sed rate. This is not a good thing, and I am not being lighthearted in airing this on my blog. But I do want to be truthful and open about what’s going on in my life. Plus, Nutrasweet cannot fairly receive the blame for my aches and pains of late. There is some greater, darker force at work in my body that artificial sweeteners may have exacerbated but not caused. The normal “sed” rate for a woman is 20 or so, and mine is double that… Sed rates indicate the presence of inflammation or infection. My biggest worry is that I’ll be saddled with another chronic disease, perhaps one as bad at rheumatoid arthritis or lupus. So please pray for me this week — that the diagnosis will be easily treated and that God will grant me the grace needed for peace within my anxious soul, whatever the outcome of my doctor’s tests. I’m sure I am like many of you in my struggle for godliness vs. selfishness; I cling tightly to my desire for normality and earthly goals, readily throwing aside the notion of sanctification for the things I want here and now. Constantly struggling. And yet there is a great light ahead. “Holy, holy Lord God Almighty. Worthy is the Lamb who was slain. Highest praises, honor and glory be unto Your Name” – line from a chorus sung this morning at Zion.

1 – Sweet final thought. By poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

For days now I’ve been averting my eyes at first notice of movie reviews when the words “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” or “Cold Mountain” appear. I’ve been stung many times before, the impressions of others tainting my movie-watching affairs, so now I’ve finally learned to ignore all writings in favor of my own experience. If you haven’t yet watched the two films mentioned above, LOOK AWAY! Consider yourself forewarned…

Return of the King: Dying to see this finale of the superb Tolkien trilogy before Christmas, my husband and I waited in line for over an hour (which is nothing compared to the Kerns & Koenigs, I mean, uh, die-hard fans) with previously-purchased tickets clutched tightly in hand. The movie was fabulous. Easily one of the best movies of the year and definitely the most fulfilling movie experience I’ve had, well, maybe ever. The thing is, I love these characters. My chest swelled with pride at Theoden, arousing his army to war; this was also the first of many moments tears threatened to spill onto my cheeks. I breathlessly anticipated Eowyn’s defeat of the Nazgul — and was a little disappointed that her fabulously amazing lines were cut short. In the novels, my favorite lines are Eowyn’s response to the Nazgul King’s taunt, “Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!” To which the brave lady replies, “But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Eowyn I am, Eomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.” Booyah! I’d name my first daughter Eowyn if I could… Sigh. Back to the movie… My hat is off to all involved in creating the city of Minas Tirith — it was incredible, far more perfect than what my puny imagination envisioned. The signal fire scene was superb and quite stunning as well. I could go on and on, but I’d need to see the movie again to do it justice. Lastly, I really loved the ending. I’ve heard a few complaints at the hobbits return to the Shire (which I oddly enough did not like in the book, but adored in the film) and at Sam’s return to his family’s hobbit hole. Loved it, loved it, loved it. The lines about Sam “being whole” left me satisfied at the knowledge of Frodo sailing to the Undying Lands. And the music at the end, leading into the credits? Made me want to weep. I could almost cry now just thinking about it. What do I think of this movie? Extremely satisfying.

Cold Mountain: I picked up this novel from the library a few months ago. Sadly, it sat on my shelf and was returned unread. But come on? Nicole Kidman, Jude Law, Renee Zellweger, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Natalie Portman and Giovanni Ribisi? I don’t need to be asked twice to see this one. The acting was fantastic. At one point I almost laughed out loud thinking that Kidman, an Australian, and Law, a Brit, were playing great Southerners. Nicole is, as always, incredibly beautiful and Jude Law is, well, let’s just say that even if this flick was horrible, I wouldn’t exactly consider it “suffering” to watch his his face for two and a half hours. He’s a hottie. But the movie wasn’t horrible, even though much of it’s focus was. The miserable aspects of this film, the truths of war and a war-torn land, might leave one in despair if not for the redemptive aspects of the movie. But the redemption, found in true love and beauty, justice and creation, make the journey worthwhile. It’s a tale that made my soul ache, resounding and captivating in it’s conclusion. Renee Zellweger’s Ruby was loads of fun, helping to balance the darkness with a little levity. Hoffman also was excellent, albeit disturbing. Overall, the movie was great and I really enjoyed it. (I did not, however, enjoy the middle aged ladies behind me who were, out loud, urging Inman to “Kill him! Kill him!” Call me crazy, but their outcries did little to make me feel like I was in Cold Mountain, North Carolina, and a lot to remind me that I was at East Park’s five o’clock matinee.)

Tonight was an evening of blessed relief, much needed down time among the daily grind and holiday hustle and bustle. Turning off the television was just the thing my overloaded heart needed. Quiet, to get back to my Rock and Fortress, to rediscover my Strength. John Piper’s Future Grace for guidance and perspective. Gingerbread cookies (my white elephant take-home) for creativity and my ever present desire for productivity. Over the Rhine’s Ohio for an inspiring, melodic salve. www.sommerwaite.com for the joy of a new talent, a new album and a new endeavor. Tonight I am wishing all of my friends a beautiful, restful, truthful Christmas. To God be all glory and praise in this season of His Son’s birth.

When do you feel most alive, most like yourself???

I’ve had these strange joint pains for the past several months. For no apparent reason I have often awoken to two or three swollen fingers and quite a bit of joint pain in my hands and feet. In the Tredway household fingers are at a premium! So it’s pretty important that my hands function correctly. (We joke around about my diabetes control — saying that I’d better watch the ole blood sugars so I don’t have neuropathy later in life. My fingers are important!)

Last week I received a forwarded email (usually I throw such things away) regarding the dangers of Nutrasweet. Now, I’ve heard all sorts of anti-Nutrasweet arguments before from many well-intention friends and my chiropractor’s office. I ignored them thinking, I already have diabetes… Let me live a little! Afterall, I do highly value Diet Coke and Diet Mountain Dew. But in the midst of unexplicable joint pain, I read the email and took it seriously. I did a little internet research on artificial sweetners and made an immediate decision to cut all ties with Nutrasweet.

Today is Day Six of my experiment. I got out of bed and walked without foot pain for the first time in quite awhile. I haven’t had any new finger aches since going cold turkey. I figure I need to give this experiment a few solid weeks to make sure that Nutrasweet is the culprit. But for now, it’s adios to all my favorite diet beverages, lite yogurts, my sugar-free hot chocolate packets and the notion of sweetening coffee or tea (with fake sugar, that is). Guess I’ll be drinking more water. Water’s good… Really…