It’s quiet time in the Tredway household. Livia’s upstairs taking it easy in her room. Jeremy’s sequestered in his home office, web developing away. And it’s quiet. Way too quiet for this wife and mama. I need to tidy the first floor, make a few soups for dinner, and do the dishes and yet I find myself unmotivated in all this quiet. So I called next door to check on the baby. No answer. I called my mom. But I think her phone is turned off. I even called Sarah in St. Louis. We never catch each other on the phone, so I wasn’t surprised I had to leave a message.
I am placing all blame for my conversational needs squarely under the title of Extroversion. Yes, sometimes it does feel like a curse.
I’m reading a book right now called Raising Your Spirited Child. The subtitle, worth sharing, explains that the book is “a guide for parents whose child is more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent and energetic”. It’s great so far (more on it someday when I actually complete the thing) and I want to share a bit with you from the chapter entitled, “Extrovert or Introvert: Finding the Energy to Cope.” Author Mary Sheedy Kurcinka says that extroverts need time with people:
“Extroverts collect their energy on the outside. Not only do they like people, they need them. Allowing extroverts to talk, share their experiences, and air their feelings gives them energy. Extroverts talk their way through movies, television shows, and the newspaper. They like to discuss the action and ideas as they occur, either in person or by telephone” (Harper 1991, p.90).
Though I’m reading this book in order to understand my own spirited child, this chapter has shed light on my personality as well as Jeremy’s. Every time I read something about how introverts work, I’m a bit shocked and then laugh at how accurately it describes my husband. And then, the explanation of extroverts fits me to a “t”. So, read ahead to see if either of the following paragraphs describe you perfectly. Where do you get your energy… from people or from being alone? Final note: there’s no right answer to personality type. We are all simply built in a particular fashion, there’s no right or wrong way about how you prefer to get re-energized.
[Excerpt taken from Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka]
If You Are an Extrovert, You Probably:
- want to talk with someone at the end of a busy day.
- have an immediate answer for a question.
- want to invite friends over on a Friday night.
- are comfortable repeating something already said by someone else.
- need and like to hear that others love you and like your work.
- start to invited a few friends for dinner and realize you’ve invited the entire neighborhood.
- find yourself telling your introverted child to get out of her room and call a few friends.
- solve a problem by talking through the solution with someone else.
- feel comfortable initiating a conversation.
- call for the babysitter.
- are comfortable revealing personal things about yourself.
- frequently leave a party chastising yourself for talking too much and not listening.
- enjoy and need to interact with other people and feel exhausted when you have spent too much time alone or only with young children.
- immediately share a new idea or experience with someone and find joy and energy in the telling.
If You Are an Introvert, You Probably:
- sit down with the newspaper or zone out in front of the television after a hard day.
- will do anything, even clean the toilets, if someone else will agree to call the sitter.
- can’t imagine wanting to invite a group over on Friday night.
- find being in a large group for an extended period of time exhausting.
- share personal information only with those who are very close to you. It may not be unusual for a long-term friend to exclaim, “I never knew that about you!”
- think before answering a question, often berating yourself for not sharing an answer you knew.
- frequently have extroverts ask you the same question twice because they interpret your pause to think as ignorance of the question.
- prefer dinner with the family or one special friend, rather than with the whole neighborhood.
- find yourself hiding in the bathroom or back bedroom at large family gatherings.
- solve a problem by thinking it through yourself before ever talking about it with anyone else.
- get tired of telling extroverts what a wonderful job they’re doing and how much you love and appreciate them.
