View from the Prairie Box

Cousins, cousins and second cousins. We enjoyed a lovely Independence Day. Check out Renae’s Flickr account for even more fun.

Thanks to all you kind, prayerful people who intervened before God regarding our sleep problems. Boy, is life a lot smoother when Livia sleeps at night!

I want to make a few notes about some helpful advice we’ve received lately. Brenda, a friend who is a social worker (correct me, Mom, if I’m wrong with that job title), really helped us with several techniques for rearing a preschooler. She suggested we come up with a short list of behaviors, four to five things, that always require discipline. And she recommended that we work on redirecting unwanted behaviors that don’t make the list. Liv’s chewing on her hair barrette? No big deal! Totally not on the list. She’s spitting in the backseat of the car? Mmm. Starting to get under my skin, but also not on the list. Spitting at me in anger? Definitely discipline-worthy. For those who are curious, right now we are focusing on some defiant behaviors like saying “no” to Mom and Dad, telling us what to do, hitting, throwing things in anger. Brenda suggested that when we feel like we’ve made some success in this areas, then we can move on to other behaviors.

I also picked up the Supernanny book. I really like Jo Frost and think she has some very practical advice to offer. Some ideas I have taken from her include the naughty spot, the notion of being very controlled with your responses to your out-of-control child, and a more gentle warning system before disciplining. While at B&N, I also chose to buy Boundaries with Kids because I keep hearing over and over, and I know it to be true, that kids crave boundaries. As I repeated to myself during some really tantrum-y nights with Livia, “I am pillar. I am a pillar.” Translation: I am strong, I can be strong! Sometimes I would turn into a wet noodle within 20 minutes, but the desire to be a firm boundary-provider remains.

So how did we get our child to start sleeping again? Hah! Do you think I’m going to post that here? Sleep issues invite all sorts of uninvited advice and mothers in particular go all nuts on each other debating the family bed vs. the CIO approach. I’m not going to open up that discussion here. But I am more than willing to talk about some issues that NO PARENTING BOOKS EVER DISCUSS. You just have to email me or give me a call for a little one-on-one chat. Lord willing, your children will all sleep like angels through the night from infancy on.

Speaking of sleeping angels, I have one. She’s cuddled in bed now, door open with a fan running to block out all the firecracker noises. Sweet dreams, punkin baby. (To which she would say, if lucid, “I not a baby! I’m three!”)

**As a fairly extroverted extrovert, I talked to lots of family and friends about the discipline issues we’ve encountered in the last month. Even if I didn’t mention you by name, please know that I love and appreciate you!

Twenty and thirty-somethings, go help Craig out for an article he’s writing. He’s asking for your opinion, so don’t hold back.

My 3 year old is on a quest for world domination. Her first target is me. Her logic? If I can break my mother, then I’m sure I can conquer the entire planet! [cue evil laughter and rubbing of hands]

Scene: Monday morning car ride. Already we’ve fought battles over getting out of bed, getting dressed and an imaginary boo-boo. Now we have just dropped Jeremy off at work and at last we’re on our way to McDonalds for the free coffee and indoor playground. It’s a beautiful day with cool breezes and blue skies.

Liv: Roll windows up. It’s too windy. TOO WINDY!

Me: Okay. [rolls windows up, on Liv’s side of the car only]

Liv: I’m too sweaty. Turn heater on!

Me: You mean the air conditioner? No way. It’s nice outside and we’re leaving the windows down.

Liv: TURN HEATER ON! TURN HEATER ON!

Me: Who is in control of this car?

Liv: Me. [fingers in mouth, as though it’s the end of this discussion]

Dream Sequence: Dark-haired woman with toddler in the backseat parks car and jumps out. Hands flailing in the air, she runs around the car with a crazed look in her eyes, mouth open in a silent scream. Can no one save her? One down, the world to go in the Quest for World Domination.

In the week of Vacation Bible School at Zion, we have a theme…

fun games in the park (thanks to Lindsey), and…

Livia’s all-time favorite activity, crafts. Don’t ask me what this craft is, I just know I love it for it’s shiny, odd roundness. (Mrs. Wittmann, nice work! It’s time for another craft night for grown-ups.)

She’s starting to catch on, starting to understand that it’s a pool, not a cool. Oh how I wish I could bottle up her precious baby language and listen to it when she’s 15 or so.

Pray for Amelia.

As an addendum to my emotionally-weary post of last night, and for the record, we are surrounded by good people. My parents, Jeremy’s parents, our beloved neighbors and friends, our church family — we appreciate them all. One of our friends, after helping install some hardware yesterday said the most supportive statement I’ve heard yet, “Liv, I’m going to help you obey your parents.” And today at a meeting for Zion’s Vacation Bible School, a small group of women gathered, all who are dealing with sleep issues similar to ours.

It is good to be supported. It is good to be among others walking the same path. It is good to be surrounded by good people. Thank you, dear good people of mine.

Things have been hard around here recently. Our church burned down — and now our congregation finds itself in an unexpected period of transition. Livia is rebelling against sleep and we’re rounding the corner on the third full week that her sleeping patterns are out of whack. Friends have moved away and I desperately miss their friendship, not to mention their little girls. Loved ones of friends and acquaintances have passed away in recent days. Things are kind of hard. And my heart is heavy with the emotional burden.

I’ve been reading Psalm 65, marked in my Bible with the words, “Zion Church, Summer ’97”:

Praise awaits you, O God, in Zion;
to you our vows will be fulfilled.
O you who hear prayer,
to you all men will come.
When we were overwhelmed by sins,
you forgave our transgressions.
Blessed are those you choose
and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house,
of your holy temple.

You answer us with awesome deeds
of righteousness,
O God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth…

While I long to help Livia sleep, there is little I can do to make her rest adequately. We’re in a fairly common stage and, with some wisdom and determination, we will see this phase cycle out in time. What I am facing is nothing compared to the heartache I imagine my friends, Steve and Jen Allen, are facing. Baby Amelia is terribly sick with an infection raging in her small body and I can only empathize in the slightest of ways how helpless Jen must feel to heal her little girl.

There is good news for all the heartache. We have a Savior who cares for us, who loves us so greatly he died for us. We have a God of hope, who generously gives us grace exactly when we need it. I ask God to give me patience and perseverance with Livia these days. I ask him to heal Amelia from this infection, from leukemia. Thanks, friends, for praying along with me.