A few weeks ago, spring fever hit our household and so we skipped church and went off to explore the countryside. Choosing to combine good intentions with our day o’ fun, we attempted to visit Jeremy’s grandparents in David City. Our spontaneity was timed precisely during their Sunday visits to see their children in Lincoln, so we didn’t get to visit them afterall. These photos were taken at the David City park… Both Jeremy and I have memories of climbing on and around tanks in parks (what is it with tank in parks?). Not only was this smallish tank good fodder for photos, it was also fun to climb. When you’re a little kid, you just monkey all over things like this, not at all concerned about falling off or perhaps banging your knee on cold, hard metal. I realized how darn inflexible I’ve become as an adult and how overly anxious I was about falling (on or off, either way would’ve bruised or broken something on my body). I felt especially like a big, dumb grown-up trying to climb off the thing… Jeremy had to direct my flailing right foot to the proper position so I could manuever all five feet, nine inches of me to the ground. All in all, we had a really nice afternoon driving all over eastern Nebraska, spending quality time side by side in the car. Sometimes, when nice weather beckons, you’ve just gotta get out of town…

I’m concerned because a few people think I’m not being honest with them about the arthritis that has been plaguing me the past several weeks. So here goes…

Getting up in the morning is not a pleasant task. I creak and ache and generally look like an old woman with, you guessed it, arthritis when I first get out of bed. Both hands get stiff over night and it takes awhile for them to loosen up. And until they’re loosened up, tasks like tying shoes, turning on a faucet, zipping a zipper, etc, can be quite painful. My feet also get sore… First thing in the morning the bones just hurt! I’m not absolutely trusting of them anymore and have taken on a lovely shuffle with my wonderful Acorn slippers that slides me around the house, alleving the ouch factor that comes with stepping. The shuffle began some time ago, it’s nothing new. My knees, elbows, wrists and ankles are mostly okay, sometimes they trade off mornings with varying levels of aches.

Over the past two weeks, I have cried buckets of tears about this condition. Who wants to deal with this at any point in their life, much less at 26? The bucket-filling usually commences when I’m by myself in the mornings, at the peak of achiness. But the good thing about all this, and I cannot stress this enough, is that I am THROWN to my knees as I take all this to God. Never before have I spent so much time sobbing out my worries, present and future, to the King of kings. Though it seems contradictory to call this a “good” thing — it’s not really. I take to heart, in a very non-cliche manner, Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians:

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take [the thorn] away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

HOWEVER, where Paul delights in these weaknesses, I do not. I am clearly not a saint in this struggle. But I have been able to experience God’s peace and Christ’s grace in ways I’ve never seen before. So, friends, don’t think that I’m not sharing the whole story with you intentionally (if this is the first you’ve heard of my struggles). I complain about enough things so the last thing I want to do is add arthritis to the list. And besides, I usually feel good and healthy for the latter half of my day… After my joints have loosened up a bit, by the end of each day, I’m typically feeling positive physically and emotionally.

Here’s what I want from you: I want you to pray that the arthritis goes away, if it’s the Lord will. I’ve got years of chasing after kids in my future (at least, that’s my plan) and I’d rather do it without creaky joints. If you’re willing to pray for this once a week or so, let me know by sending me an email (). Your prayers mean a lot to me.

I’m getting to some unnamed point in my life where “time flies.” For so long I’ve ignored the wisdom of those who’ve gone before me, those who say things like, The years pass by so quickly — I still feel like I’m 30 (speaketh the 50 year old man). I’ve poo-pooed their notions, thinking blah, blah, blah, whatever! And here I am today… Saying the exact same thing.

Time flies.

One year ago today I began The Blog. I was not at all certain I wanted to record my thoughts on such a visible setting. I knew that I’d have to watch my words, carefully choosing what to post and what to delete. I knew that readers of the blog might begin to see me in a different light because of my blogging, good light or bad, my words may change their opinions of me. But over the past year I’ve learned a few things…

1) Not all my thoughts are recorded on The Blog. Some things are too personal to put here, and other things are just too ridiculous.

2) I do indeed have to watch my words. At times I’d like to fly by the seat of my pants, throw caution to the wind, [insert favorite colloquialism here] and just say exactly what’s on my mind. But I don’t live my life that way. My blog, an expression of Rebecca Lawton Tredway, must reflect the way I choose to live my life. My dad always said: First you think, then speak, then act. So here I am, trying to take dad’s words to heart.

3) It’s a good thing to live honestly, discarding the masks that hide your true personality to others. I used to be completely preoccupied with what other people thought of me (or rather, what I thought they thought of me — it’s quite twisted actually). The Blog has been quite helpful in shaking this preoccupation. And along with coworkers, friends and my husband, I’ve been encouraged to be less concerned with what others may think of me (emphasis on “may”) and to live faithfully in this personality God created.

All this to say that, and yes I know I’m getting old, TIME FLIES. In June I’ll celebrate six years of marriage. My friends’ children are turning one, two and three years old already. Our church has been in this “new” location for eight years now. My parents are _ _ years old (this shocks me because I recently filled out a form and accidentally made them eight years younger). I’ve maintained friendships that are older than some junior high kids in our youth group. In fact, I diapered, fed, burped and read to most of these junior high kids during my babysitting days. I’m getting old.

Happy first birthday, Blog!

i am SO grateful for…

– 20/20 vision
– boys! and their many many differences from girls
– no wrinkles and (mostly) no gray hair
– in the same breath, youth
– spring
– the first budding bulbs of 2004
– marriage
– my husband
– chocolate milk and hot chocolate
– diet rite (no caffeine, no sugar, no nutrasweet)
– my office, including my fabulous coworker lynn
– vacations and looking forward to vacations
– being able to do laundry in my own basement
– luxuriously owning a shelter for my car
– the colors red and yellow
– lunches and shopping with my mom
– true love and warm companionship
– laughter! big ones, bubbly ones, snide ones, joyful ones
– soft things
– being tall

Writing exercise: Describe in one sentence the item to your immediate left.

In yellow and red, the pine floor gleams in stripes that have witnessed the living room conversations of Lincolnites over the last 90 years.

*I suppose this exercise might work better with a smaller object. But what can I do? The only thing to my left is the floor! What is at your immediate left?

Goal: To see all of John Cusack’s movies.

Runaway Jury
Identity [check]
Max
Serendipity [check]
America’s Sweethearts [check]
High Fidelity [check]
Being John Malkovich [check]
Crade Will Rock
Pushing Tin [check]
The Thin Red Line [check]
This is My Father
Chicago Cab
Anastasia [check]
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil [check]
Con Air [check]
Grosse Point Blank [check]
City Hall [check]
The Road to Wellville
Bullets Over Broadway [check]
Floundering
Money for Nothing
Map of the Heart
Roadside Prophets
Bob Roberts
Shadows and Fog
True Colors
The Grifters
Elvis Stories
Fat Man and Little Boy
Say Anything [check]
Tapeheads
Eight Men Out
Broadcast News
Hot Pursuit
One Crazy Summer
Stand by Me [check]
Better Off Dead [check]
The Journey of Natty Gann [check]
The Sure Thing [check]
Grandview, U.S.A
Sixteen Candles [check]
Class

Esta mi familia! Back row (l-r): Kristin, Adam, Andrew. Front row: Dad, Mom, Moi. For some reason I’ve forgotten, Jeremy was not present for the photo op. Thanks, Kris, for sending this picture to dad (who sent it to me)… This is all the blogging I can handle today. Enjoy!

Just kidding… There’s more. In a lame excuse for not figuring out how to post pictures well, I will add more words to my site in order to make the blog look somewhat decent. About my family… I love them! When Jeremy was in seminary in St. Louis, we were frequently told that we probably wouldn’t be able to move back to Nebraska (once he became a pastor). Well, he didn’t become a pastor and we did move back home! And I am grateful for both those facts. Living near my family is very important to me. Adam and Kris reside in Omaha, Mom and Dad a mere 12 minutes away, and Andrew… he doesn’t count — those student years can take you far from home. I’m hoping he comes back to the Midwest someday. Alrighty… My blog looks better now, at least on this browser. So it’s quitting time. [My ESFJ-ness is really showing itself today… Love for family, lack of interest in detail work. More on the ol’ Meyers-Briggs later.]

WOOHOOOOOO! Lord of the Rings rocked tonight!!!!! 11 for 11 wins. Simply fabulous. Here’s to our “friends” PJ, Fran, Philippa, Howard, Annie, Liv, Ian and the Hobbits on a fantastic evening!!! Something tells me the LOTR post Oscar parties will be quite the festivities…

Okay. Enough of the jumping up and down and cheering for my favorite fantastical trilogy. Peter Jackson deserved all he received tonight.

And the LOTR fan put her head on her pillow, closed her eyes and sighed, a gentle smile crossed her lips as her mind drifted to off to the lands of Lothlorien and Rivendell…

Sitting: On my brand-spankin’-new furniture from Nebraska Furniture Mart… and loving it! We picked out a beautiful, comfortable Broyhill sofa (in a color and texture that’s like a brownish Weimaraner) and a gorgeous chocolate leather chair and cubed ottoman. Aside from two oak bookshelves, this is our first furniture purchase. For a little perspective… We’ve been married five and half years — for three of those years, our sofa was a daybed; for the past two it’s been hand-me-downs from my folks. (In other words, our dues have been paid and we know how blessed we are to have good stuff finally!)

Losing: The CNN home theatre. Darn that Ken Watanabe pick. I think a win for him would be a HUGE surprise on Sunday night. Ah well… I don’t have room for a home theatre anyways (that is, unless the Extreme Home Makeover folks come on over to our street).

Chewing: Necco’s Sweethearts… I’ve finished off the orange and yellows, and now in my craving for sugar, I’m working on the rest of the bag.

Driving: To Omaha tonight to pick up our friend Bryonie for the weekend! Charity and I met Bry about 10 years ago at Horn Creek Camp in Colorado… It should be a great weekend of catching up and showing her around Lincoln.

Believing: Despite the discouragment of swollen fingers and a very sore left heel, this truth: NOT crushed, NOT in despair, NOT forsaken, NOT destroyed (2 Cor 4.9).

Over the past week there have been several mornings where I wake up and don’t want to get out of bed. It’s not the normal O to loll around in my comfy covers a few minutes more attitude, rather I feel sore and achy physically and down in the dumps in spirit. Alas, the aches and pains in my hands and feet, and sometimes in wrists and ankles, have continued and I oftentimes feel like 60 year old woman first thing in the morning.

All this to say that I finally meet with a rheumatologist on Tuesday. My sed rate is still elevated (at 29, down from 52) and my ANA is abnormal at 2.4 (normal is 1.0). The rheumatoid factor still shows negative, which is good but could also be misleading. The long and short of it is that I have an “undifferentiated connective tissue disorder” — it’s a fancy way of saying, We Don’t Know Exactly What’s Wrong with You! but you pretty much have arthritis. Arthritis is inflammation of the joints and I definitely have that. There was no bone/joint damage on my xrays, though, so apparently we’ve caught the arthritis pretty early. At this point we’re choosing to treat the symptoms… Alleve twice a day should do that. As to a specific diagnosis, the wait-and-see approach will have to suffice for now.

I am not posting this stuff on my blog lightly. This all REALLY SUCKS. I already have insulin dependent diabetes mellitus (IDDM). I definitely don’t welcome more physical dilemmas in my life — and I don’t enjoy the emotional weight that comes along with them. I am a worrier by nature, currently fighting hard to shake anxiety from my daily regimen, so another potentially heavy diagnosis doesn’t do me any good. I spent a good part of Tuesday being weepy, believing myself to be the unluckiest tool this side of the Mississippi, doomed to a life of medical paraphernalia. But guess what? Life is so much more than a disease (or two) and this is my life. There is a way to get out of bed in the morning without feeling so blue, and that is by turning to the word of God for comfort and guidance… My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9). Often weak in body, definitely weak in spirit — grace sure has miles to go in me! But as odd as it sounds, as backwards as this may seem, I’m looking forward to the ways trusting in God’s grace will change me.

One more thing that makes a girl feel good? Red roses from the love of her life. Not too shabby, eh?