Livia-isms: Ah Life!

Posted on Jul 23, 2009 at 9:07 AM in Livia, Parenting

One day last week Livia wasn’t looking so hot, so I asked her how she felt. “Crumbly” was her response. (I told her I was crummy the other day. Ha!)

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Liv, explaining why she used the word “butt” in a conversation (when she knows I like the word “bottom” better):

I used “butt” because I like it. It starts with a B and has an S. And [shrug] it’s kinda funky.

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On when she’ll be allowed to light more dangerous fireworks. Short answer: when she’s an adult. Liv’s answer? A little more complex:

When I get big I’ll marry Seth, have a ball, and then light them on the Fourth of July.

Everyone who gets married has a ball, right? To which I say, thank you very much, Disney. To be honest, I don’t know which thought scares me more… the lighting of fiery explosions or my girl getting married.

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Final note. We’ve been talking about the birds and the bees quite a bit recently. Milo and Otis shows puppies and kitties being born (after which Liv asked for clarification, “Did she just poop kitties?”). So we picked up National Geographic’s Dogs & Cats in the Womb and, boy oh boy, did Liv get an education. Since then she and I have discussed eggs and “swimmers” (her term, not mine), menstrual cycles, miscarriage and locations of female body parts. My favorite Livia quote was when she referred to her “tiny womb” on a grocery store outing.

I love exploring life with this kid!

Sidenote: I used the fast-forward button at the start of that National Geographic program. I am so not ready to discuss the entirety of procreation with my five year old.

12 Comments

  1. Corrin Jul 23, 2009 12:53 PM

    What a precious girl!

  2. alina Jul 23, 2009 1:33 PM

    I’m impressed. What a tough subject!! Sounds like you handled it creatively and factually. Her “little womb” is the best quote ever.

  3. Jen Jul 23, 2009 1:54 PM

    If you’re doing this well at age 5, I’m sending the girls over. What day works best for you?

  4. Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt Jul 23, 2009 7:32 PM

    That is HILARIOUS. All of it.

  5. Bethany Jul 23, 2009 9:04 PM

    I wish I had more conversational situations where “Did she just poop kitties?” could be used.

    Also, those pictures of the cats in the womb majorly skeeved me out. Maybe it’s because I spend so much time looking at “this is how big your baby is inside you” type pictures that seeing an animal floating in there is way creepy.

  6. Haley Jul 23, 2009 10:53 PM

    I think I just ruptured an organ laughing about “Did she just poop kitties?” Seriously. Did you laugh? Because I think I would have laughed. I am no good in parental situations that call for a straight face.

  7. Jamie Jul 24, 2009 1:41 AM

    i’m in agreement. TOTALLY hilarious. love the “tiny uterus”!

  8. sarah M Jul 24, 2009 12:20 PM

    these are so funny, thanks for sharing! My personal favorite is “and it’s kinda funky”!

    LOL! How do you not crack up?
    Sarah M

  9. Melissa Marsh Jul 24, 2009 12:34 PM

    It is SO HARD to explain the birds and the bees to kids. On one hand, you want to show them that it’s a natural part of life. On the other, you want to discourage them from sex until they’re married. Then on the other, other hand, you don’t want to gross them out!

    My daughter has been asking me these questions, too. :)

  10. Joanna Jul 24, 2009 1:28 PM

    This post made me laugh out loud (so glad we aren’t there yet!).

  11. Rebecca Jul 28, 2009 11:33 AM

    Jeremy and I have gotten pretty good at laughing on the inside at much of what Liv says. But there are many, many moments where I want to die laughing.

    I think there are three reasons why our birds & bees conversations are easy (so far, we haven’t covered much ground yet!). 1. Liv calls herself a science kid, so our scientific conversations come naturally. 2. My mom is a public health nurse who worked the STD clinics for a long time. I’m used to frank conversations. 3. Jeremy, as many of you know, doesn’t shy away from so-called socially unacceptable conversation topics. LOL. ‘Nuff said.

  12. Clare Jul 29, 2009 2:38 PM

    The word butt is indeed kind of funky :) Hilarious.

    This post reminds me of a project of mine, it’s just a simple word document, but for a full year I keep track of all the amazing quotes my friends say, and then print it out for Christmas and give it to them as a reminder of the funniest times of the year!

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