The road to public embarrassment via pajamas is a slippery slope. I used to judge people who went out in public in their jammies. Yeah, I know, it wasn’t kind of me. But I couldn’t fathom how someone would go to the grocery store in their nasty sweatpants without even running a comb through their hair. As we all know, pride goeth before fall. I think I fell this morning.
Getting a kid ready for school is an interesting, somewhat rapid-fire process. I try to squeeze in every last minute of sleep that I can, and then it’s GO GO GO to the finish line at the door to kindergarten. The main objectives are as follows:
1) get kid dressed
2) feed kid
3) brush teeth, brush hair (always making sure to use the appropriate brush)
4) pack lunch
5) get to school on time
You didn’t see anything in that objective list about mom getting dressed or brushing teeth. And that’s where the slippery slope creeps in.
“Dressed” means to cover oneself. Points aren’t given for beauty in the early morning race, so there’s a wide option of how one can dress. And here you can see how I’m sliding already. Fleece jacket over pajama top (uh oh), comfy-pants-that-aren’t-sweats (at least that’s how I define them), shoes (flip flops were best, too cold for those now). I haven’t yet worn my slippers to school but I am tempted to do so EVERY DAY.
The “brush teeth, brush hair” objective seems like common courtesy, doesn’t it? For realz, how long can it take to swish some Colgate around one’s mouth? Too long some days. That ham sandwich isn’t going to make itself and those grapes aren’t just going to jump in the lunch bag. As long as I don’t get too close to the crossing guards, halitosis isn’t too concerning. Gross, but understandable, right? Right?
And so goes my morning five out of seven days a week.
But this morning, after completing the race and triumphantly climbing into the driver’s seat of my car, I glanced into the rearview mirror. And was slightly aghast. I think I brushed my hair, but truth be told, I looked like I had just rolled out of bed. Cow licks like nobody’s business. Mascara remnants under my eyes. The green fleece jacket swallowing all color from my makeup-less face. Yikes. The crossing guard didn’t need to get close to my breath, my physical presence alone could’ve knocked her over!
Clearly I have two options for the days from here on out. I can either start laying my own clothes out the night before and maybe, just maybe, wake up a few minutes early as a public courtesy. OR… I can go the full monty and walk into school in curlers and slippers in a matching pair of Hanes sweats.
16 Comments
Kerri Oct 5, 2010 9:04 AM
Ha! I kind of figure as long as I’m not getting out of the car, sweat pants, sweatshirt, no makeup—who cares?
But I still will not wear pajama pants to the grocery store. Or anywhere else in public for that matter. I have my standards. :)
Jen Oct 5, 2010 9:43 AM
This is the real reason I homeschool. Don’t tell anyone. :)
Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt Oct 5, 2010 12:26 PM
One thing, make her lunch right after you clean up dinner, the night before. Seriously, you’ll be so glad you did.
Janna Oct 5, 2010 8:43 PM
You make this always tired mama smile. :)
bobw Oct 6, 2010 7:36 AM
funny stuff. homeschool rocks! ;-)
anyway, have you thought about laying out her clothes the night before too?
Rebecca Oct 6, 2010 8:46 AM
I put on jeans this morning. Yay me, success!
Good call, Moriah. I never liked eating slightly soggy sandwiches though, so I’d have to say I’m a bit picky about that part of lunch. The rest can definitely be assembled in advance. The same with clothes, like Bob said. We started out the school year with outfits laid out the night before and it made getting ready sooo easy. Again, hello, slippery slope! Need to get back to doing that again.
Aubrey Oct 6, 2010 9:25 AM
How’s this for the mommy files: One day a few weeks ago, I got to WORK where I was ALL DAY and realized I hadn’t brushed my hair. Oops. I’m sure that didn’t exactly inspire confidence in my abilities as a doctor. I guess that’s part of being a working mom.
Charlie @ CharlieGirlBlog Oct 6, 2010 4:52 PM
Um…I don’t even have kids yet, and I totally go to class (arriving 1 minute before it starts) with wet, straggly hair almost every day. I don’t think that bodes well for my future attractiveness.
Marc Oct 6, 2010 6:49 PM
For a blog with an emphasis on photography, I think this post called out for an accompanying photo. :)
Claudia Oct 7, 2010 6:40 AM
I agree with Marc, Beck…let’s see one of those great self-portraits!
Sarah B Oct 7, 2010 9:43 AM
If it makes you feel any better, it’s not been until just recently that I actually have accomplished getting (mostly) ready before the kids are up! (See FB status update today.) It’s taken me well over a year to accomplish that, so go easy on yourself. Entering into the “school kid world” is rough!!
And for the record, MOST days I don’t brush my teeth until the afternoon. Hello, morning breath! ;)
And on those days when I haven’t gotten ready before taking C to school, my one rule is that I have to put a bra on under my jammies!! HA!
Sarah B Oct 7, 2010 9:46 AM
And I totally echo the comments about making lunch the night before and laying your clothes out, etc. (And for me, getting the coffee pot ready the night before!!) All those things shave off minutes of your getting ready time.
andrew Oct 7, 2010 12:14 PM
It’s a far cry from June Cleaver with a skillet full of eggs and bacon, fully dressed, hair coifed.
Thinking of you running to the car, child in tow, makes me think of the crazy lady on a jail-break from the asylum.
Hey, if I didn’t have to shave for work my beard alone would make the crossing guard call 911.
Rebecca Oct 7, 2010 2:57 PM
Oh Marc, I’m still laughing about that suggestion.
Sarah M Oct 13, 2010 8:33 PM
I would like to state…for the record…the opposite view.
If it were socially acceptable I would never GET OUT of my pjs. I have even invested a (somewhat large) portion of my life to determining what I can get away with as “yoga chic”.
!
S
Rebecca Oct 14, 2010 7:59 AM
Sarah M, you are so Yoga Chic! I, however, was Nasty Unwashed Lady. There’s a BIG difference. ;)