Category Archive: Uncategorized
My art is in words. The swirling watercolors and acrylics can be founds in letters in print, in between black and white lines, both casually and purposefully painted across a screen. Today I’m ready for more. I long for art to be splashed across the pale walls of this old house, and I know that someday these blank slates will be filled with the creative works of kindred spirits. My soul is dissatisfied with the flickerings of television and computer screens. I want paint, thickly applied to a canvas. I want sculpture I can caress and wrap my fingers around. I want to feel the rhythmic churning of the pottery wheel controlled by my right foot, my hands tight around a sloppy glob of clay. I want to sit quietly, breathing in and out, as I create. As I cut out shapes for a collage, make marker strokes on a bookmark, or artfully wrap a birthday present. I want to inhale aromas of fresh mountain air, salty sea breezes, pastries from a bakery or coffee so strong it stays on my skin all day. I want to encourage artists around me, tell them they are amazing, and wait with anticipation to see what they do next. I want contribute to the world, make my mark on it, be proud of what I create. I want to be meaningful, purposeful, strong and beautiful in my pursuit.
My thoughts, swirling and enriching and outward-focused, are wrapped snugly under a down blanket next to the sleeping form of a sick five year old. Her deep breaths, slowly in and out around the two fingers tucked in her mouth, lull me, comfort me, ground me. Peacefully sleeping, she radiates the glory of a God who delights in making beautiful things like soft foreheads, wispy little girl hair, and tender downy ears that look like seashells. The day is dark and overcast and my mood, too, has been dark and overcast until the excitement of creative work and the sweet peace of a sleeping child spread joy to scare away the shadows.
Today I create with words. I’ll go in search of sculptures and paintings tomorrow.
This is me watching the Oscars all by myself.
This is me, terribly excited to be watching the Oscars.
This is me… blogging… because I am an extrovert, and as previously mentioned, I am watching the big show by myself. So. Who looks great tonight? Who are you rooting for? What do you think? (And yeah, I’ll totally delete this post if there aren’t any comments. lol)
The pace of life over the past few days is leaving me a little breathless.
Jeremy’s grandpa passed away on Thursday. His death was not a surprise, but nonetheless, the family is mourning and we miss Grandpa Fred a lot. It’s just plain sad. Perhaps like many of you, I have a lot of thoughts related to death but I can’t quite figure out how to sort them out. I hate death. It sucks. Although it is clearly the natural progression of things, it is wrong and feels wrong. The death of a loved one seems to occur in something outside of real time. Driving back and forth to the hospital to visit Grandpa Fred, I thought it seemed strange that the rest of the world keeps on moving. People are still impatient in traffic, they are still going about their daily activities, nothing is put on hold for a family that is grieving. I remember feeling the same way when my Grandma Iola died. I would walk into the nursing home and feel instantly transported to a surreal existence where my beloved grandma was breathing her final breaths. Bah. This is hard stuff to write about!
But like I said, life moves on. Jeremy still has work and I have a freelance project to focus on. We still need to make our basement safe and comfy for Sarah & baby Quinlyn who are visiting soon. Dinners need to be prepared. Livia needs to play. The dog didn’t eat for two meals in a row so clearly someone needs to worry about that. Say nothing of the persistent colds we keep trading around the household—who ever has time for a cold?
Time for a funeral, to remember and rejoice in Grandpa Fred’s life, will be made. If you think of it, pray for the family, that God would love and support Grandpa’s wife, five children and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren as they adjust to life without him. Thanks, friends.
The following song has been playing in my mind for over a week now. The lyrics are excellent.
In Christ Alone
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.
While I don’t personally know anyone in Haiti, friends from Grace Chapel have been traveling there for years and I know they are terribly concerned about friends and loved ones among the earthquake’s devastation.
If you’d like to send monetary aid, consider the agencies from the blog posts of Pastor Mike Hsu and Renee Welstead. Thank you!
I’ve been juggling—juggling bits and pieces of life in the air and hoping to successfully catch them all, one at a time.
I’m used to juggling motherhood, friendships and church work. And every so often I’ll pretend to do some domestic chores in order to keep everyone in clean clothes. I won’t even pretend I cooked last week, but that’s a different story and I’m trying to do better this week.
Recently I’ve begun to juggle two very cool, very exciting life bits: freelance writing and photography. This past summer I began to feel it was high time to fully pursue my gifts and talents in these areas. When I’m writing or taking photos, I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing, and I delight in worshipping God through these activities. I’ve always known that “whatever you do, do it all the glory of God,” but I’m experiencing that in a very new and quite satisfying way right now. I could probably say a lot more about this line of work and how much I’m enjoying it but I won’t… at least not in this blog post.
So the juggling.
Turns out, I’m not a world class juggler. Imagine that! Or perhaps it’s just that I’m juggling too many bits and pieces at one time. That’s fine, really, because I’m in a transition stage right now and have plans for the future that will involve putting down some of the bits and settling into a less juggly-type routine. And oh, I do love routine. Consistency and comfort zones are two of my favorite things. Apparently, juggling is not.
But you must excuse me, I see that laundry in the air and I’m contemplating tossing up some freelance writing work as well. That amount of juggling I can handle.
I’m locked out of Facebook for the time being. So if you get any weird messages there from me, know they’re not from me at all! I wonder if a lot of people are receiving these security alerts. Jeremy did, and I changed my password when that happened. It’s a tad annoying if you ask me.
O Nebraska Winter, how you torment me so! One day it’s delightfully warm, your wind dying down to nothing and the sun shining in the clear blue sky. And the next, oh the next sees 4-5 inches of white snow piled upon my sidewalks. The snow is charming in its icy, cold, harsh kind of way. And I sense perhaps the last opportunity to earn a Good Mom Badge by taking my daughter sledding, but really, it’s time for you to go. It’s time for Nebraska Spring to make its blustery entrance. If I fill the basement emergency kits for impending tornadic storms, will you be tempted to leave? If I start dressing in capris and sandals, will you take a hint? If we install the screen in the front door will you understand that its time for you to move on? March comes tomorrow. Sayanora, Nebraska Winter! (Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.)
A quick glance around the first floor of my house reveals how very much I’ve fallen behind… in about every way. That’s how things go after the entire fam has been sick, but still, it’s now driving me crazy. Couscous under Liv’s seat at the dining room table, garage sale clothes stacked a few feet away from the couscous, the old stroller returned by my sister-in-law only a few feet away from the couscous and garage sale clothes. Yikes! Can we either call Merry Maids or find something all-consuming for Livia to do for about eight hours solid?
This is life. Sickness and organization rotating in cycles, with no need to get all worked up about either. The couscous will get swept up, the clothes will make their way to the basement prior to their eventual sale, the stroller will eventually be placed in the garage.
All this to say, if the status of my dining room is any indicator, then you can imagine what my email inbox looks like. If you are waiting on a response to an email, please don’t feel ignored. Or at least consider yourself in good company. You and the couscous have something in common. And goodness knows I love couscous. ; )
It’s a snow day in Lincoln, Nebraska—not because of the snow that’s already accumulated, but because of the snow that is expected to fall today. The announcement of a snow day is STILL exciting for me even though I’ve been out of school for almost 13 years now. I think there’s a collective, community anticipation of fun when school is called off for the neighborhood kids and I’m sure we’ll see them out in force today, making snowmen and sledding down the few hills we have in this flat part of the country.
Livia and I hit the grocery store yesterday for a few staples and aside from a library run this morning, we’re prepared to enjoy a homebound Friday. I’ve already promised her adventures both outdoors and in. As long as everyone gets healthy here, we’ll be doing fine.
What are your plans for today and tomorrow? Does anyone have big Valentines plans?
