As we walked through the cosmetic aisles at Dillards today, I told Livia, “Yes, all these things can make you look prettier, but you don’t really need them.”
I don’t want my daughter to fight the same battle I fight: the Comparison Wars. I hate the fact that I compare myself to other women. I hate the internal dialogue that still exists despite the beautiful words that flow from my husband’s lips. I hate the way that I don’t practice what I preach.
You see, I absolutely believe that God created each of us in His image. And each one of us is stunning in her own unique fashion. I really do love it that some women are “larger-boned” and very womanly in their curves, and that others are slender with nary an extra ounce of fat. I am delighted when I see a woman with curly red hair who embraces it and doesn’t constantly complain that it isn’t blond and straight. I am oddly proud of the professional basketball player I saw on television yesterday who wore three inch heels despite being amazingly tall at 6 feet, 6 inches.
I want to shout from the rooftops: Women of the world, be PROUD of who you are!!!
But still the whisper creeps in, only audible to my own ears, only pressing on my own soul… It tells me that I need to wear trendier clothes, to lose fat and gain muscle, to buy undergarments that either give me more oomph or slim down the oomph I already have, and chiefly, to look very much like models in magazines and celebrities on tv.
Ugh.
God, give me strength to conquer the sin that tells me I’m not enough in the skin I’m in. I want to practice what I believe. I want Livia to be stronger than I am.
5 Comments
Bethany Jun 1, 2005 11:20 AM
I have never met a single woman who didn’t struggle with comparing herself to other women. I think it’s both something that we’re internally wired to do and that society reinforces (notice how the second a woman of importance (politician, etc.) appears in public and looks the least bit dowdy or too trendy or whatever, she gets ripped to shreds, mostly by other women. But a man has to look REALLY bad to gain our criticism). I think it’s hard because as women we have an urge to beautify things, but when that desire is aimed at our appearance, so many other sinful issues come into play.
Bleh.
Haley Jun 2, 2005 6:46 PM
This is why I don’t shop unless I can’t help it. :) My downfall comes when I actually try clothes on. It always seems like at least 75 percent of the clothing in stores is designed for some mutant with no bone structure and suddenly, even though I never feel this way in the rest of my life, I feel fat. It’s silly, but true.
RT Jun 2, 2005 10:00 PM
B, I agree that we have some sort of unique urge to beautify our worlds… and sin definitely comes into the picture when we start viewing ourselves. I never realized how much I actually criticize other women until I wrote this post. I found myself thinking terrible thoughts yesterday about a stranger — and was ashamed and embarrassed of myself. Double ugh for hypocrisy.
Haley, if I were rich I would so hire a personal shopper. Perhaps Trinny and Susannah (sp?) would come work for me and I’d never have to purchase my own clothes again.
Bethany Jun 3, 2005 3:59 PM
RT – I’ve watched enough WNTW that Anna refers to me as “miniTrinny.” I know all “the rules” – let me know if you ever want a shopping buddy! ;)
Heather L. Sanders Jun 4, 2005 10:51 PM
WOW! I too have battled this as I started greying around age 18. It was unnerving. I dyed my hair to hide the grey until I was 26 and then, I gave in.
To my delight – and surprise – God had something GREY-T in store for me. I have the most unique blend of salt-n-pepper and when I cut it short and wear it spunky (like both me and my husband like), I truly feel like ME. I’m not hiding anymore. It brings out my eyes, looks great with my favorite silver earrings I wear everyday, everyone comments on it, and I wonder … why didn’t I trust that God made me the way He intended me to be.
I too focus on the negative and not enough on the positive and Jeff and I removed TV from our house for this very reason … b/c we don’t want unrealistic expectations/exposure coming into our home that draws us away from God’s Truth.
I do believe my temple needs work … that I could care for it better than I do. That is conviction though – and has nothing to do with the latest celebrity diet or body.
Here! Here! to you!