My second mom (aka Karen or Mom T) makes beautiful floral arrangements. Every time she delivers one, I feel like I’ve won a little lottery.

The height of DPP hesitation.

I took pictures of three items today: my partially-eaten bowl of tomato soup, a partially-consumed White Russian, and my computer screen (which had partially uploaded my photo of the day).

December 17 – creativity = today’s DPP.

I’ve been having these days recently (or has it been every day for the last six months?) where I feel like either I’m a really terrible mother or my child is horrifically naughty. It’s gotten to the point where I look around and wonder if other women are feeling as frazzled and harried as I am, or if this is all a big cosmic joke to make me join the nuthouse at a young age. I’m not a person who likes labels (which is probably why I don’t identify myself as a “diabetic” very often), but I’m finding a bit of relief in considering my child strong-willed. There are great aspects to being strong-willed and I look forward to seeing my daughter as someone who knows her own mind and doesn’t easily submit to others’ opinions of her. Yet, I’m thoroughly exhausted by her will these days.

A few things bring great relief to me right now. One, physical breaks from mothering. A consistent quiet time each afternoon helps a lot. Liv has largely disposed of her afternoon nap, but the hour she stays in her room allows me time for refreshment. Preschool twice a week is a tremendous blessing, while Jeremy and my mom are lifesavers and preserve my sanity by letting me go out for coffee or time with girlfriends. Two, good parenting literature. I gave up on reading parenting books a while ago, and now I’m back in the game. Since I like Dr. Kevin Leman’s breezy writing style and Christian worldview, I’m reading Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. I have a few recommended books which I’ll write about in the future… if I like them, that is. Finally, the third thing that is keeping me sane is conversations with those who have gone before me. Last Wednesday night God put me in the perfect small circle of women who have many years of parenting strong-willed little buggers. I delight in knowing that one of those daughters has turned into a magnificent adult and friend. She gives me hope!

Sometimes I feel shocked by the intense highs and lows of mothering. The highs–the warm cuddles and funny conversations and brilliant observations and adorable looks–are equalled in measure by the lows–the persistent disobedience, the urine on the carseat while potty-training, the tantrums and fake tears. Another mom commiserated on how “poured out” you feel by the end of the day. Consistently caring for another person, no matter what their age, is a huge task that requires personal sacrifice. God is slowly molding me into a better woman. As Jeremy and I raise Livia, we are being trained and taught as well. I take great comfort from the One who is always patient, always loving, and always caring for me:

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young. [Is 40:11]

Today was Christmas with my mother-in-law’s side of the family. To ease hosting stress on Grandma and Grandpa, the celebration was moved to a larger location. Yes, we did play Bingo–and I won a round. I want to join Jeremy’s grandma sometime when the real ladies play Bingo. I hear they’re a tough crowd!

I wish the photos of Livia and a large Nativity set (the size of kid’s outdoor playhouse) came out decently enough to share. Liv was fascinated with it and spend much of our lunch spreading hay on the sheep or hugging the shepherd within reach.

I was enjoying a delicious bowl of clam chowder when Livia walked over and told me, “Mary asked if I could come in the barn. No or yes?”

I said, “Tell Mary your Mommy said no.” Mary asked… ha! Liv sounds a bit like a little Rebecca with that trick.

Inspired by Michelle’s cute photos of Caleb and Alice.

I got the recipe for Apple Cranberry Bread from Sarah years ago and it’s one of the first dishes that has become a seasonal tradition for me. I borrowed a few mini-loaf pans (so cute!) and learned that little loaves bake much faster than big loaves (imagine that). And yes, you are still looking at the Prairie Box even though tonight it resembles Needs More Butter.

Apple Cranberry Bread

2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
2 T. canola or vegetable oil
1-1/2 cups flour
1-1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups chopped, peeled tart apples
1 cup fresh cranberries
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

In a mixing bowl, beat the eggs, sugar and oil. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda and salt; add to egg mixture just until combined. (Note: Batter will be very thick!) Stir in the apples, cranberries and walnuts.

Transfer to an 8-in. x 4-in. x 2 in. loaf pan coated with non-stick spray. Bake at 35o degrees for 60-65 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center of the loaf comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack to cool completely. Yield: 1 loaf

“Why are there Christmas lights?”

Livia’s been demanding an answer to this question. Demanding. It’s like the presence of Christmas lights on houses is offending her somehow, and it’s time for answers for such an offense! She’s asked the question several times now and I usually end up talking about darkness and light. Livia understands darkness, it’s a word she uses to describe the Kingdom of the Night exhibit at the Henry Doorly Zoo. (Unlike me, she’s fascinated with that exhibit.)

December is the darkest month of the year; the days will begin to lengthen again once we reach the Winter Solstice. In this month of darkness, we string lights outside our houses and on our Christmas trees, we light candles in windows and relax in the flickering warmth. We long for light. This longing finds eternal contentment in the Light of the world, the Savior whose coming we celebrate during this season. The desire for beautiful strings of lights during a dark season is a reflection of this greater longing for light in a dark world. The news has been full of darkness recently… I’m thankful for a Savior who brings light to the hearts of men, and who will one day fully redeem the darkness.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that had been made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

…He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

John 1:1-5, 10-13

It’s hard to venture out today with one’s camera and not take photos of the ice.